i hoard, therefore i am...

...overloaded with stuff.

so i decided to join the etsy bandwagon, although i am probably a day late and about $3 short. while i am not going to use it as a platform to sell my fabulously handmade gemstone jewelry, because i have put far too much time and effort into www.yenjewelry.com, i am going to use it to sell off gems, beads and findings that i have hoarded for far too long. i will probably sell a few older design that i want to get out of my inventory, too. although i am new to the whole etsy thing and still figuring it out (it is like a little society over there and i feel a little out of place still), i will try to post a few things every day. i have about 100+ things i want to unload, so i am offering bargain basement prices. a lot of the things i will be selling at a huge loss, since it will be a bigger gain to clear up some space in my work studio area!

now get to shopping!

diamonds on the soles of her shoes


i just read that the woman that created "juno" is having a moment of self-pity since she agreed to wear a pair of $1M shoes to the oscars, but didn't know they were $1M or that she would be attached to an oscar night publicity campaign for wearing them. how dare they subject her to such cruel and unusual punishment? what abuse!

this is where i go, "oh, no she didn't." i can't say much about her movie, "juno," since i simply refuse to go to see a film where the "look at me, i am indie" factor is so contrived that it looks like the wardrobe and set crew robbed an urban outfitters. come on, the lead character talks on a hamburger phone! gag. i can say that she is lame by acting so put out by the fact that she was so shamelessly conned into wearing some shoes that cost $1M, and, oh goodness, she might have to take a picture or two in them. talk about someone who really is taking herself and her importance far too seriously. she has been in the public eye for 5 minutes and is already playing diva? i am not even in the movie business and i know well enough that nothing comes for free in life. designers aren't offering her their wares since they just are feeling philanthropic or because they think she is a nice person; they want the publicity they will get in return every time ryan seacrest asks, "who are you wearing?" if she is having such issues with the idea of being used, she should just wear her own frock to the event and move on. don't just talk the talk, but walk the walk. you can't have your cake and eat it, too (hmmm, how many cliches can i think up in a row on this topic?).

hey, ryan, when i am watching the red carpet tonight, will you at least tell us who she is when she comes by? i know i am certainly not alone in saying i wouldn't be able to pick her out of a lineup. hey, maybe the laugh is on the shoemaker in the end. nobody will even know who she is to bother looking at her feet.

as far as the shoes go, the shoes themselves aren't that special and look pretty lunch lady like, but those kwiat diamond clips on them are gorgeous. i will take a pair! i better get to work on an oscar-worthy movie so i can be shamelessly conned into wearing the $1M shoes next year. i promise, in advance, that i will play nice and not complain!

insomnia sometimes leads to bad shopping choices.

i like sleeping at night. i like tv. i like shopping. i don't like when i can't sleep at night; but when i can't, i like that i can enjoy tv and shopping. here enter infomercials and shopping networks. i am a fan of them all. from the high quality productions made by guthy-renker and QVC to the cheaply produced favorites that include, but are certainly not limited to, any of kevin trudeau's questionable discoveries and the dual action cleanse program, which is hosted by klee irwin, who eerily resembles john waters.


i can watch ron popeil for hours making chocolate pasta, setting his chicken and forgetting it after he injects it with flavor (he even has qvc alum, steve bryant, forgetting about the chicken with him now), spray painting his bald spot, making turkey jerky and going on an impromptu fishing trip. i so enjoy being hypnotized by the eyebrows on the juiceman, jack kordich, although my loyalty remains with jack lelaine. pulling a semi while rocking a one-piece, belted pantsuit always wins my heart. who can resist cathy mitchell and her GT Express 101? you know, her kids just love it. now why her kids still live at home, since they have to be at least 45, baffles me. throw in some chef tony, erik estrada selling me prime land parcels on beautiful lake shastina, chuck norris completing a solid workout on the total gym while magically keeping his toupee in place, the man with english accent who sounds so smart when selling his red devil grill and a little bit of greer childers; no wonder i can't sleep at night.

i have actually been lured to make purchases--some of which were better choices than others.

best infomercial buys:

1. proactiv: judith light--or as tony danza would say, "ANN-JUH-LUH!"--convinced me to buy it after watching her pushing it on qvc. i have used proactiv for about 7 years now and am often stopped in public by strangers and asked what i use on my skin. when i tell them of the virtues of proactiv, people often ask incredulously, "that stuff on tv?" i can't express enough how great this product is for me. i have converted many people.
2. oxyclean: it works! actually, anything i have tried that is endorsed by billy mays is a winner, with exception to kaboom for toilets. maybe my toilet bowl is bigger than industry standard, but that stuff does not foam up like he claims.
   

decent purchases:

1. the firm (the one with the bench step): i fell for this one since the infomercial was full of southern girls talking about how the program got their bodies in the best shape ever. being a southern girl, too, i figured, "well, they wouldn't lie to me!" i can say that if it didn't blow out my knees, which were bad from years of running, this would have made the short list of best purchases.
   
2. windsor pilates. if it is good enough for daisy fuentes, it is good enough for me. i grew bored of it, but it was good while it lasted.
   

if it didn't work once, why did i try again purchase:

1. the firm (the one with the weights): i don't claim the firm as being a bad product, but blame my lack of sense for buying it... again. i have no idea why i thought this would be any better on my knees than the last version. these women obviously like exercises that strain bad knees. to make up for the lack of a bench, now they just squat and lunge constantly. also, their accents that i once found to be cute are just now annoying and grating. i am sure this would be a great program for those without knees like those of an 85 year-old, retired carpenter.
   

the worst purchase ever:

1. six second abs: yes. for shame, i fell sucker to this concraption. i paid about $60 for some piece of plastic with rubber bands on it. too embarrassed to try to resell it on craigslist (then someone would have to pick it up and see the idiot who bought it in the first place), i just dropped it off at the goodwill truck and sped off before the guy receiving it could see my face.

the yet to be determined purchase:

1. zumba fitness: the first time i watched this, i couldn't stop laughing at the weird little dude who invented it. he goes by "beto." i was secretly intrigued and decided to watch it again the next time i flipped on it. finding the idea of holding little cha cha sticks and dancing around like one of jlo's uncoordinated backup dancers intriguing, i ordered it. the verdict is out since i haven't received it yet, but i am feeling good about it. hey, if d-listers like eva la rue, stacey keibler and vivica fox approve, it must be great! i would never believe that they just were hard up for a few bucks and some tv time. never!
   

so, do you have any favorites that i must know about?

caucuses: i still hate them

it appears i am not the only one who hates the caucus system.

looks like he isn't liking it too much right now either.

soapbox time: caucuses

may i honor my right to freedom of speech right now and talk about how i think our current electoral process is a joke? at least how it was handled by the political parties in washington state yesterday was.

i am incredibly annoyed right now with the fact that the parties of the state of washington still use an antiquated caucus process for making party decisions in the current presidential race. although the state also has a primary, and the state spent millions to create a process that is more convenient and accessible for voters (and, likely, more accurate), the parties ignored that and decided to go the way of the ancient and hold caucuses all over the state yesterday. being that this is the first time i have experienced one of these, i can say i and many others who come from states where the parties honor a more progressive primary voting system were very confused when we arrived at the "voting" location (which i had to spend 20 minutes on the internet to find--how in the world did people know where to go before the internet?) and i was told that i would not be able to drop off my absentee ballot, but would rather have stand around in an overcrowded auditorium and literally "caucus" to determine who would win the washington delegate vote for my party of choice. i certainly wasn't the only confused person there.

i am all for upholding my duty as a citizen of the United States by being a registered voter, and subjecting myself to the horror that is jury duty, so i may vote for my elected officials. but, as this great nation (and the world as a whole) progresses by creating new technologies that allow us to do things in a more streamlined and efficient fashion, why doesn't someone step in and say enough to this ridiculous caucus process? i can say that what i entered yesterday was chaos. half of the people, who most likely moved here from other states that got rid of this system long ago (i being included), were wondering and saying, "what the hell?" even the volunteers couldn't seem to answer our questions. it was like they were just told to show up. not preparing myself to spend an entire afternoon in an overcrowded, stuffy elementary school auditorium doing Lord knows what since the volunteer couldn't quite tell me what i needed to do to make my choice of candidate known, i left without voting. now i know that my vote during the state run election won't even count since the decision was already made yesterday. although my main excuse was just not wanting to spend my afternoon in such chaos, what about the many people who had to work yesterday and couldn't attend if they wanted; or those without transportation options (the public transportation system in many areas here is poor or non-existent); or those who needed to stay home and care for their dependents and couldn't find someone to step in for a few hours? do these voices not count? this certainly isn't very a democratic process since it is exclusionary to those who can't set aside the time for caucus, but would like to cast a ballot.

so now i can take my absentee ballot and run it through the shredder, since it is of no use at this point. the decision was made for me and countless others in crowded auditoriums across washington state. why we can't all move to a more unified and progressive election process across all states baffles me. selecting our president is a heavy responsibility, and the process should be set in a way that is convenient and easy for all. this might help increase the number of people who vote.